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Money makes the world go round but it also runs on conversations. A conversation is the big sister of chit-chats or small talk so you have to step up your game if you’re looking to have meaningful conversations. It goes beyond the usual “WYD”, “WUUT” or Naija style- “Have you eaten?” Meaningful conversations must convey elements of genuineness, sincerity and your personality.

There are 4 types of conversations namely; Debate, Dialogue, Discourse and Diatribe- but I’m not here to lecture you on them. You can read more here while we focus on dialogues. In today’s world, having poor conversation skills will most likely lead you nowhere. Be it in a corporate or social setting, one must know how to interact and dialogue with people.

A 15 minutes conversation can land you an interview, a business deal or even a date. Sometime in February, I had an interview at a reputable consulting firm and I was quite nervous but I said to myself, ‘This is just another conversation’. My interview went from being an actual interview to a conversation and my interviewers said that was one of the most interesting interviews they had ever conducted. So, I’m an excellent conversationalist if I do say so myself. Now, how do we have these meaningful conversations? Here are 5 ways I know how to;

• It’s not only about you– Don’t be eager to do all the talking. A dialogue is both ways and as such, you should pay attention to not only what the other person has to say but their mannerisms and body language. This helps you know what next to say or to understand the direction of the conversation.

• Ask interesting personal questions– “Can you tell me about yourself?” is a dead end question in my opinion. Instead, ask questions about the other person’s work/career. “What’s it like being an engineer? I bet it’s quite stressful.” Or, “What was it like growing up in the north?” The answers to these questions will automatically tell you more about the person than asking them directly to tell you about themselves.

• Listen and listen actively– Most times, listening to another person speak will require you to be silent which is only logical. While at it, pay attention to the words they use and how their feelings are expressed. If you didn’t understand something they said, ask questions to gain clarity. Don’t listen to reply but to understand and respond when needed.

• Find common interests and experiences– It’s a dialogue, make it fun! You may just find out that you both are anticipating the release of Rihanna’s next album or that you attended the same primary school but at different times. One question about their childhood may bring up new topics to discuss. Being relatable encourages people to keep conversations going because it’s obvious that you have been paying attention.

• Bring up past discussions– Remembering what someone told you in previous discussions shows that you actually care and listened to them. If the person mentioned that they would be travelling on a particular date and you later ask them how their trip went, it makes them understand that you’re interested in their life and open the door for more questions and conversations. This is the most effective way of sustaining a conversation.

• Bonus point; Avoid talking about people– Talk about the weather, music, an idea or innovation, a TV show. But avoid making another person the center of your discussion. Some things can be said in passing but always remember that the walls have ears and smartphones have a feature called screenshots.

Meaningful conversations are the best way to get acquainted with people and build trust, a rapport, friendship or relationship. I don’t believe that anyone is boring as we all have stories and experiences to tell. Do you have more tips? You know we’re here to learn from each other so go ahead and share. I would also love to read your best and worst conversation experiences. Please feel free to continue the conversation below in the comments section.