My mum is jovial, sweet, strict and one you can call “the life of the party.” Truly, there’s never a dull moment with her. Albeit this extroverted nature of hers, my mum has just a handful of friends; amongst them was Aunty Mercy.
Aunty Mercy was/is (you’ll understand why I’m describing her in the past and present tense as you keep reading) an Ijaw woman. She’s dark-skinned, has an hourglass shape, a pretty smile, neat to the core and always ready to lend a helping hand. She was beautiful.
My mum is Itsekiri and if you’re conversant with the Warri Crisis that occurred in the 90s between the Itsekiris, Ijaws and Urhobos, then you may be wondering how their friendship blossomed.
These two friends- Mercy and Josephine were close. Aunty Mercy confided so much in my mum and although I was little back then, I could pick up a few things from my mum when she discussed with my siblings about her friend.
When Life Happens.
Aunty Mercy was a single mum. She had one child- a son. Before being a single mum, she was married but a cousin of hers snatched her husband from her. That’s a story for another day. They parted ways and she worked her way through life. She even lived with us for a while. It was a struggle.
Sometime in 2012, we started seeing less of Aunty Mercy. My mum would call her and most times, she was unreachable. In 2013, she came around and I could barely recognize her. She was a shadow of herself. My mum’s beautiful friend looked unkempt, confused and she kept talking about seeing Bill Clinton. “Bill Clinton? Mercy, where did you see him?”, my mum asked. She said he flew over her house in a private jet. Wow! Tears welled up in my mum’s eyes- mine too.
My mum knew what was happening to her friend. “Mercy, this is menopause at work oo. You need to get some drugs and start taking proper care of yourself…” Aunty Mercy said, “No, Mrs Enwefah. My pastor said that my family people are after me…” Damn!
The Loss.
One afternoon in 2014 before I left for my NYSC, I saw a “mad woman” on my way home from the filling station. I got closer and I recognized who it was. “AUNTY MERCY!!?” I screamed. I got closer and took her hand. “Aunty Mercy, what happened to you?? We have been looking for you!” She said, “My baby, I have been looking for your mummy…I walked from Apapa…” At this point, I was visibly shedding tears.
People in my neighborhood were looking at the ensuing drama and I didn’t care. I took her upstairs and my mum burst into tears when she saw her friend. Aunty Mercy started talking. She talked about nonexistent things. It was sad. That was the last time I ever saw her.
Menopause Is Not A Trivial Health Issue.
I’ve come to realize that we only take women’s health seriously in the beginning and middle stages of their lives. Puberty, menstruation and childbirth. What about menopause? Would it be a bad idea to organize menopause classes in clinics just as antenatal classes are held for pregnant women? The female reproductive system is complicated and a lot of women don’t know much about their bodies. Menopause comes with so much drama for women and it could be mistaken for a variety of things; just like Aunty Mercy’s pastor told her that her village people were after her.
Menopause comes with issues like hair loss, depression which can lead to madness if not properly managed, hot flashes, insomnia, amnesia and a host of other things. It’s been 6 years now without Aunty Mercy. We don’t know if she’s dead or alive.
Do you know anything about menopause? When was the first time you heard about it if you have? You know I love to hear from you. Please, let’s talk in the comment section below.
How has your week been so far? Hope you’re keeping safe. May is pretty fast or is it just me? 🤷🏽
Phew! This is heartbreaking and to think I am just getting to know menopause can cause all of those things you mentioned is an eye opener for me. I think I support the idea of classes being held to sensitize us about the last stage of our lives as women.
Thanks for always educating and entertaining at the same time.
Really heartbreaking. Honestly, those classes would go a long way. Thank you so much, Rebecca. I’m glad that you learned something new from this post.
I was about 15 or so when we went to see my aunt she was sweating with both AC and fan on she said she went to the hospital they gave her drugs but she wasnt herself when we all have a discussion she talks about something else like she was “skipping” I was scared thought something else was happening to her I asked my mom if this is just menopause or something else I really think it wont be a bad idea to organize menopause classes like antenatal because some dont even know what to do or how to handle it when it comes.
My mum had a similar experience and I was scared as well. There’s a lot of awareness to do as regards this issue. Thanks Bumblebee.
Wow, to think that i thought this menopause thing was just a normal stuff without side effects🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️. Another thing now to worry about, i hope Aunty Mercy wherever she is got better and in time too. Its sad☹️. Everything about a woman has to be taught honestly the way i see and those antenatal classes is definitely one way to start.
This is so pitiful and enlightening, I have learnt something new about the female body. Thanks for this lovely piece.
I’m happy that you picked up something new from this post. The female body is just amazing. Thanks Ogechi.
Menopause is another phase we have to endure again. God help us. I keep praying for Aunty Mercy…hoping to see her again someday. Thanks a lot, Ava.
This has been eye opening for me. So Menopause can cause this much damage, then there’s so much we the young ones don’t know about.
Yes, a lot of damage when not properly managed. It’s a lot of things. I’m glad you learned something about it from this post.
This is so pitiful and enlightening, I have learnt something new about the female body. Thanks for this lovely piece.
Some people scale through menopause without any sign. Just like my mum, her period just stopped without any wahala but some people go through a lot that it can last for 2 years. God help all women🙏
Ah! I tap into your mum’s anointing oo! 😩😍 The thought of it alone is scary. God help us!!
It’s really sad……. Women go through a lot!
It’s kinda heartbreaking.
I love looking through a post that can make people think. Also, many thanks for permitting me to comment!