“Obiageli” is one of my nicknames from my sister. Indeed, I was born into wealth, arriving at a time when there was plenty and enough for everyone. I didn’t know nor understand lack. Not having something even before I asked, sometimes, was a strange concept.
I had everything I needed and wanted to a large extent, and being the youngest member of my family was even the icing on the cake.
This was life as I knew it and somehow, I thought that everyone else had it the same way.
Yet, life’s lessons are subtle teachers. My perception of reality underwent a profound shift as I grew older. It wasn’t a sudden jolt but a gradual realization, a series of experiences that unfolded one after the other.
This one in particular happened in 1999.
Jelly Sandals Craze
There was a jelly sandals pandemic (0r so I thought) and every little girl my age had at least a pair. At school, in church, in my neighbourhood- everywhere I went, there were jelly sandals and I was the odd one out.
At that moment, I wanted one simply because all my friends had it.
My mum used to inform my siblings and me in advance whenever she planned to go to the market. This allowed us to consider what we might need her to buy for us. I didn’t wait a second immediately she gave the announcement that week.
“Mummy, I want jelly sandals!”
Till this moment, I’m not sure if she heard me or not because my request was met with silence. Knowing my mum, I knew not to repeat myself because that silence was far from ordinary. Market day came, she went and returned without my jelly sandals.
“I knew it”, I thought to myself. It was disappointing yet not surprising.
The next market day came and the same thing happened. It then became obvious that she was never going to buy it.
“Why?” This was the first time I had pondered on that question for a long while.
“Why does Mummy not want to buy these sandals for me?”
“Why didn’t she even answer me when I asked for it?”
“Why?”
The more I thought about it, the more I saw the different colours and designs of these jelly sandals. I even had dreams about them. So near, yet so far away.
I moved on soon after and forgot about them.
Lessons Learned In Retrospect
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Contentment
Being fixated on those jelly sandals made me forget that I had a ton of footwear. There’s something about wanting a thing so badly that we tend to lose sight of every other good thing we have. When this happens, ingratitude and desperation unknowingly set in. Count your blessings.
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Fashion Is Really Not A Competition
Honestly, it felt like I came last in a “jelly sandals ownership competition” because my Mum didn’t get them for me. I believe we all felt this way about something while growing up. I later realised that it wasn’t that deep and there was no such thing as coming last in following fashion trends. Fashion fades but style is eternal.
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Wants Do Not Equate Needs
You don’t need everything you want. It’s human nature to always want and acquire things. From time to time, make it a habit to do some self-introspection and ask yourself if you actually need the things you so desperately want.
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Be Relentless
Accepting ‘no’ or silence as an answer can be challenging, but it doesn’t mean we should give up. While this approach might not be applicable in every situation, it’s essential to remain persistent in pursuing our goals. Repeated efforts often lead to breakthroughs and successes. It takes a yes to erase a million noes. Maybe if I had asked my Mum for the jelly sandals a second time, she would have agreed. Just, maybe.
Can you remember something you wanted so badly when you were little? Did you ask your parents for it and did they eventually get it for you? What was your experience like? Tell me in the comment section below.
Have the best week ahead and see you in November!
Lovely read.
I especially like the lessons learnt.
In my much younger years, i was fascinated about a tonne of things including and especially the rubik’s cube.
I craved having it and being among the ‘cool kids’ that got to solve it, or to lend other kids, in the least.
Fast forward to my adults years, i eventually was old enough to by it for myself and so i got it when i found it displayed on the shelf of some store.
I later dashed it out sef…but i have enjoyed having it and got some more difficult ones of it.
My own lesson is that, these wants and cravings of ours are never worth killing ourselves for or fighting tooth and nail to acquire.
At the end of the day, life’s the master of disguise and our wants are needs constantly change.
Cheers, Ogochukwu.
I remember the rubik’s cube…the colours were so attractive.😄 Our needs and wants are constantly changing as you said. Thank you so much for sharing.